It was really great hanging out with them again. Ever since me&ant moved to splitsville I havent hung with them at all. Been 4 months! Awww I def missed them all and it's def gonna be happening more. Esp when I get my apt. Hang out on weeknights!
I missed Danny a lot..haha hes a cute trip.5. Of course I miss hanging out with Ant, he's half a trip...lol. Perillo? Hes a trip that went off course but it was sweet..he looked at me all seriously and said "it was really great seeing you." Twas nice.
I just hope Mike won't be hurt or upset by it in inside. I'm sure it bothers him even if a little. But it's like why does everything have to change bc we broke up? I just know me and ant. There's nothing anymore. Sometimes I do look at him and laugh thinking I was with him forever and now he's three seats away. We will always have a special place in each other's heart for sure. Not like a love, but like I just want to make sure he's ok..like I want to give him advice and help him. Lord knows he needs it haha. Sometimes I think he's just as broken as I am. I can't lose such a great friend. Ok so if Mike hung with his ex I'd be pissed, but ugh guys are just different. Women aren't as "oh I cant see you bc it hurts!" screw that, we're friends. It's not like theres this hidden denial..it is what it is. We are friends and it is odd bc we were more once. That's all that's different. The hidden weirdness that comes and goes.
As for Mike, he's totally the most amazing boy (ok man, but I like "boy" better). Well he's just got to trust me and what I know. He makes the shitty-est days a bit better just by thinking of him. It is scary, but lovely. I love his voice, doofy laugh, smile. I esp love the way he looks at me like he sees something that I don't see in me. I'm still waiting for him to say oh forget it, you're too much trouble. Been awhile though, who knows. It's also hard for me cause he lives in Guam. I missed him a lot this week. It's like I live a double life. A totally diff week and weekend life. Week is hardcore emotionless weight training and weekend is relaxing emotionfullness.
ok WHERES SINDHU!?
Suddenly I see this is what I wanna be.
Suddenly I see why the hell it means so much to me.